Learning to Accept Praise
Learning to Accept Praise: A Skill Leaders Must Master
In leadership, accepting praise and compliments with grace is more than a personal skill—it’s a reflection of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and respect for others. It took me a long time to learn that. Responding to kind words always felt awkward, triggering a knee-jerk reaction to downplay or deflect. Why is it so challenging to simply say, “Thank you”?
If you’ve ever brushed off a compliment with a dismissive “It was nothing,” or felt a pang of discomfort when someone recognized your effort, you’re not alone. Many leaders, driven by humility or self-doubt, struggle with this seemingly simple act. But learning to accept praise is essential—not just for your own growth but for fostering healthy relationships with your team, peers, and stakeholders.
Let’s dive into why these matters and how you can develop the ability to accept compliments graciously, building stronger connections and demonstrating the self-assuredness that true leadership requires.
The Power of a Simple “Thank You”
Imagine this, a team member comes to you and says, “Your guidance on the project made all the difference—we couldn’t have done it without you.” How do you respond? For many leaders, the instinctive reaction might be, “Oh, it wasn’t a big deal,” or “You all did the hard work, not me.” While these responses may feel modest, they unintentionally diminish the compliment.
A simple “Thank you, I appreciate it” does more than acknowledge the kind words. It validates the effort someone made to express their gratitude or admiration. By accepting the compliment graciously, you affirm their perspective and foster a culture of mutual respect.
Why Simplicity Matters
Saying “Thank you” may feel like an inadequate response, especially if you’re uncomfortable being in the spotlight. But simplicity is powerful:
It acknowledges the compliment without overcomplicating the exchange. A long-winded response can dilute the authenticity of your gratitude.
It avoids awkwardness for the giver. When someone compliments you, they’ve taken a vulnerable step. Responding with humility and sincerity ensures their gesture is received warmly.
It reinforces positive interactions. When you graciously accept praise, you encourage more open communication and recognition within your team.
The Hidden Cost of Downplaying Compliments
When you deflect or dismiss compliments, you might think you’re being modest. However, this behaviour can unintentionally come off as dismissive, even rude. For example, if someone says, “Your leadership inspired me,” and you reply, “Oh, I’m just doing my job,” it devalues their perception and effort to share.
The Ripple Effect of Dismissal
Downplaying compliments doesn’t just affect the person giving them—it impacts you as well:
Erodes trust: If people feel their recognition isn’t valued, they may hesitate to share future feedback or compliments.
Diminishes self-worth: Habitually deflecting praise reinforces self-doubt and prevents you from internalizing positive affirmations.
Stifles team culture: Leaders set the tone for their teams. If you dismiss praise, you may inadvertently create an environment where recognition is undervalued.
Instead, think of compliments as bridges. They connect individuals through shared moments of acknowledgment and gratitude. By refusing to cross that bridge, you miss an opportunity to strengthen relationships and celebrate collective success.
Self-Worth and the Discomfort of Praise
For many leaders, the root of discomfort with compliments lies in self-worth. If you struggle to see your own value, accepting praise can feel like a contradiction. Thoughts like “I don’t deserve this” or “They’re just being polite” may cloud your ability to receive recognition authentically.
Understanding the Source of Discomfort
If receiving praise feels uncomfortable, consider these common underlying factors:
Perfectionism: Holding yourself to impossibly high standards can make it hard to accept praise for anything less than perfection.
Impostor Syndrome: The persistent fear of being “found out” as inadequate can make compliments feel undeserved.
Cultural or Social Norms: Some cultures or upbringings emphasize humility to the point where accepting praise feels inappropriate.
Fear of Arrogance: Worrying that acknowledging compliments might make you appear boastful or self-centered.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change. Accepting praise isn’t about inflating your ego—it’s about embracing your humanity and respecting the perspectives of others.
Reframing Compliments as Gifts
To overcome discomfort with praise, try reframing how you view compliments. Instead of seeing them as judgments or evaluations, think of them as gifts. When someone offers a compliment, they’re giving you something valuable: their acknowledgment, time, and positive energy.
How to Practice Gratitude for Compliments
Pause and Reflect: When someone compliments you, take a moment to absorb their words fully. Avoid rushing to respond.
Respond with Gratitude: A simple, heartfelt “Thank you, I appreciate it” is enough. If appropriate, you can add, “That means a lot coming from you.”
Internalize the Message: After the interaction, reflect on the compliment and allow yourself to feel proud of your accomplishment or trait.
Avoid Overanalyzing: Resist the urge to dissect the compliment or question its sincerity. Trust the giver’s intention.
By treating compliments as gifts, you shift your focus from self-judgment to gratitude and connection. This mindset makes it easier to accept praise without discomfort.
The Role of Leaders in Modeling Graciousness
As a leader, your behaviour sets the tone for your team. When you accept praise graciously, you model humility, confidence, and respect. This isn’t just about you—it’s about fostering a culture where recognition is valued and celebrated.
Why Graciousness Matters in Leadership
Builds Trust: Acknowledging compliments openly shows that you value others’ perspectives and encourages transparency.
Encourages Recognition: When leaders accept praise graciously, it signals to the team that giving and receiving compliments is encouraged.
Demonstrates Self-Awareness: Leaders who accept praise confidently show that they understand and value their own contributions.
Remember, your team looks to you for cues on how to navigate interpersonal dynamics. By embracing compliments with grace, you inspire them to do the same.
Overcoming the Fear of Arrogance
One of the most common fears leaders face when accepting praise is the fear of being perceived as arrogant. However, there’s a critical distinction between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is rooted in self-awareness and authenticity, while arrogance stems from insecurity and a need to prove oneself.
Tips for Confidently Accepting Praise
Focus on the Giver: Shift your attention to the person giving the compliment. Acknowledge their perspective and thank them for sharing it.
Stay Humble: Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean inflating your achievements. Simply recognize and appreciate the acknowledgment.
Share the Credit: If appropriate, acknowledge others who contributed to the success being praised. For example, “Thank you—I’m really proud of the team’s efforts on this.”
Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive. By accepting praise graciously, you demonstrate both qualities in balance.
Practical Exercises for Building the Skill
If accepting compliments doesn’t come naturally, consider practicing with these exercises:
Compliment Journal: Each time someone compliments you, write it down in a journal. Reflect on the compliment and how it made you feel.
Role-Playing: Practice accepting compliments with a trusted friend or mentor. This can help you develop confidence in real-life interactions.
Daily Affirmations: Build your self-worth by repeating affirmations such as, “I am worthy of praise,” or, “I accept compliments with grace and gratitude.”
Mindfulness Meditation: Use mindfulness to become aware of your reactions to praise. This can help you stay present and respond authentically.
With practice, accepting compliments can become a natural and rewarding part of your interactions.
Respecting Yourself and Others
At its core, learning to accept praise is about respect—respect for yourself and for the person giving the compliment. When you downplay or dismiss praise, you unintentionally reject their effort and perspective. But when you receive it with gratitude, you create a moment of connection and mutual appreciation.
As a leader, this skill isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. By embracing compliments with grace, you model emotional intelligence, foster a culture of recognition, and affirm your own self-worth. So the next time someone offers you a kind word, remember: a simple “Thank you, I appreciate it” is all it takes to honor their gesture and yourself.
Leadership isn’t just about giving—it’s also about learning to receive. And when you do so with authenticity and grace, you elevate not just yourself, but everyone around you.